


sit with me a while | elu

by lockedinmybody



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Heartbreak, M/M, Pain, Sad, lucas reaches out despite knowing he probably shouldn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 02:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17972741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedinmybody/pseuds/lockedinmybody
Summary: They've completely fallen apart, and Lucas feels sick with how different this feels from that lazy Saturday morning. It's painfully obvious how everything is different now, and Lucas wants something back that has more than passed him by.or, lucas is heartbroken and he feels like he has no one to turn to, and so he turns to the one person who turned his world upside down.





	sit with me a while | elu

**Author's Note:**

> it's not very happy, but happy times will come soon!!
> 
> you can come find me on  
> tumblr :) and let me know what you thought <3

Lucas' eyes tear up so heavily that the thick droplets blur the edges of the world, a stray student leaving school property fading from his view.  
He sits on the bench for a while, too long. Alone.  
After haven given someone his trust, it feels like he got what he deserved. The universe is playing an elaborate joke on him, and Lucas was a fool to ever think differently, that any of it was real.  
Every moment from the past few weeks in which this fever dream suddenly started to come to life, shadows of a tall figure with gentle eyes and a hiding smile taunting him, falls flat again. The images of Eliott dancing around him, pulling him closer as he steals Lucas' breath from his mouth, basking in the early morning light that fits them so well, drying like ink onto paper, and it's time Lucas closes the book.

He has never felt this alone in his life, and for a fleeting moment he wonders if that's at least in part because he's lost a proximity he'd never had before. A glimpse into a world that felt too scary to enter despite his heart singing anytime he reached his hands into it.

Lucas sticks his hand in the pocket of his coat and his fingers brush against paper. The rustling sound is too loud and too close and he pulls his hand away as if he's been burned.

His gaze falls on the school gate, the streets moving further away. He can't go yet, doesn't want to. He has no room to hide in, the house probably isn't empty and he feels too much like he's drowning to be faced with the harsh reality of roommates who are either waiting for him to open up or who are angry with him. 

The moment he decides to go back inside the school, Lucas pulls out his phone and texts Eliott.  
_Common room_.  
He has no idea if Eliott is even around anymore and he almost hopes he has already gone home because it would make everything a lot easier. 

Slowly, he lowers himself onto the couch, his backpack tossed on the ground. Every part of his body aches. Lucas tries to flex his fingers but the bandage pulls at his skin and it hurts. He had caught Manon glancing at it with a disapproving look yesterday, and he's careful to not show how much pain he still has.  
He lifts his middle finger a little, and the pain in his knuckle intensifies. Tears spring into his eyes, though he's not sure he ever stopped crying. 

The door opens softly, and Lucas doesn't have to look to know who it is. It couldn't be anyone else.  
He turns his head, sees his state - clearly a little worse for wear - reflected in Eliott's face.  
Teardrops fall on his cheeks and Lucas' face crumples ever so slightly as he stands up. 

It's incredibly unfair, both on Lucas and on Eliott, and the whole situation is cruel. Lucas doesn't want this, but he has no where else to go. No one can give him what Eliott can.  
Because with Eliott, he doesn't have to say anything. There's no explanation needed, because Lucas isn't going to give him one.

He hadn't come out with Eliott, he had come in. Fallen into the warmest and most loving embrace, one that had felt so new and solidifying Lucas had immediately wondered if he would ever feel like that again. 

Eliott took from him and left, and as Lucas feels his legs tremble, he knows he's doing the same. 

There's a moment in which he thinks about completely leaving all together, but then he rushes forward, pushes his face in Eliott's chest, Eliott's arms coming around him as he steadies himself, a little outtake of breath from the impact of Lucas' body falling into his the only noise in the room. He doesn't give himself a chance to look at Eliott's face, not knowing if he's more scared of seeing something distant or something inviting, begging him to come closer. 

Lucas' entire body shudders, and he wants to make a fist to try and get a grip but it hurts again, and he holds his hand in between Eliott's torso and his own.  
One of Eliott's hands comes up and holds the back of his head, and Lucas closes his eyes for the first time since Eliott hugged him. 

After what feels like minutes, Eliott moves his hand to the top of Lucas' head and pulls it back gently, Lucas' eyes still closed as Eliott carefully brushes his lips against the top of Lucas' forehead.  
Tentative and cautious, as if Lucas could shove him away at any second.  
As if he knows he's doing something he's not really allowed to do, overstepping boundaries that Lucas invited him to. 

They've completely fallen apart, and Lucas feels sick with how different this feels from that lazy Saturday morning. It's painfully obvious how everything is different now, and Lucas wants something back that has more than passed him by. 

Maybe a Lucas in a parallel universe has managed to keep Eliott's attention long enough for him to actually stick around.  
Maybe one of them realised what he said or did that made Eliott want more time, or didn't do it in the first place. Maybe one of them was more resistant to the twinkle in Eliott's eyes and didn't melt under his touch. 

Maybe one of them has a better relationship with his parents. Can actually pay his bills. Can keep his friends around. Likes girls in a way that makes life so much easier. 

He desperately needs to heal, and the one person he needs it from does not care about him at all.  
Lucas moves his head up a little and lays it down, until his head is tucked under Eliott's chin and Lucas' nose is brushing against his collarbone.  
Eliott's arms tighten around him, squeezing him close, and Lucas lets himself have that moment. 

It's painfully romantic and loving, and Lucas wishes he wasn't here despite it feeling like the only place he _should_ be right now.  
Lucas pulls back a tiny bit, and the moment Eliott feels him pulling away, he lets go. Easily. Like he did before. 

As he bends down to grab his backpack he sniffles, and once he's upright again he looks Eliott in the face for the first time.  
His eyes flicker over Lucas, from his hand back to his face, and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other a few times, unsure what to do with himself. 

Lucas can't do this. He's done enough. He lets his gaze drop to the floor as he breathes out but there's a lump in his throat he can't get past, and his bottom lip quivers.   
He leaves the room before he's able to see how Eliott looks at him. Before he might manage to convince himself that Eliott actually gives a fuck about him.


End file.
